Glossophobia, or the fear of public speaking, is the world’s number one phobia, believed to affect about 75 per cent of people at some time during their lifetime. It’s also one of the most common sources of bad advice.
If you’ve ever been told to ‘picture the audience in their underwear’, you know exactly what I mean. That particular gem, supposedly meant to ease nerves, is more likely to distract than empower you, and it’s just the tip of the iceberg.
In my years of speaking at events and training clients to become more confident communicators, I’ve seen how well-intentioned but outdated advice can do more harm than good. It’s time to tackle some of the most common advice that’s still being passed around. Because the truth is, much of it isn’t just outdated, it’s actively holding speakers back from communicating with clarity, confidence and credibility.
Please don’t picture the audience in their underwear!
This old cliché is often offered to nervous speakers as a way to level the playing field by mentally disempowering the audience. But what it actually does is increase the distance between you and the people you’re speaking to. It encourages detachment rather than connection and distracts you from your message.
Public speaking isn’t about dominating a room, but engaging it. If you start from a place of fear or discomfort, you’re unlikely to create trust or rapport. A better approach is to remind yourself that your audience is made up of people who are just as human as you. Some may be tired. Some are curious. Many want you to succeed. Speak to them, not at them. Whenever I’m on stage, rather than imagining anyone naked, I make a point of sharing eye-contact with the audience and paying attention to ensure my points are landing.
Don’t worry about memorising your speech word-for-word
Memorisation gives the illusion of control but can actually lead to performance anxiety. If you lose your place or forget a line, it can throw off your entire delivery. Worse, it makes it harder to engage with your audience, because you’re busy reciting rather than communicating.
Audiences respond best when they feel like you’re speaking with them, not delivering a monologue you’ve rehearsed in front of a mirror.
I regularly get the opportunity to host panels within the fintech space and see up-close how industry leaders communicate their ideas. I’ve found the best speakers work from a clear structure rather than rely on a strict script. If you know your opening, your key messages, and your transitions, you have a reliable framework that allows space for natural language, spontaneity, and real presence.
There’s no need to ‘fake it till you make it’
The idea behind ‘faking it till you make it’ is to project confidence even when you don’t feel it. But in practice, pretending to be something you’re not is exhausting, and audiences are surprisingly good at picking up on inauthenticity. If your energy feels forced or overly polished, you risk coming across as insincere or disconnected.
True confidence doesn’t come from performance; it comes from preparation. It comes from knowing your material, having clarity about your message, and understanding your audience. When you ground yourself in those things, you don’t need to fake anything. You can show up as yourself, and that’s when people really listen.
Don’t be afraid to move
Public speakers often feel like they have to stand perfectly still, which probably stems from a fear of distracting the audience. But suppressing natural movement often has the opposite effect, and can make you seem stiff, uncomfortable, or disengaged.
Purposeful movement – whether it’s a shift in stance, a step to emphasise a transition, or natural hand gestures – can add energy and clarity to your message. The key is intention. Move because it supports your message, not because you’re pacing nervously. When used well, physical presence becomes a tool for connection.
In my years of training clients to be better, more confident public speakers, I’ve learnt that the best communicators aren’t necessarily the most charismatic or polished, they’re the most intentional and present. Ditch the outdated advice and focus on building habits that help you connect, adapt and speak with authority:
- Focus on clarity and connection over performance
- Know your key points, not a script
- Prepare thoroughly, but speak naturally
- Use your body language, don’t suppress it
- Build real confidence through practice and relevance
Remember; prepare thoroughly, but deliver like a human being – responsive, conversational and engaged. Understand who your audience is and what they care about, so your message lands where it matters. And above all, don’t aim for perfection, aim for resilience. The unexpected will happen. What matters is how you respond to it.
When you combine preparation with authenticity, you don’t just deliver a talk, you create a moment of connection. And that’s when your message really sticks.
